Class

When you love something or someone, you don't mind spending a little bit more on them. Sometimes you might even be accused of spoiling them, but you don't care. It's love.

I love my cat, so I'll drop $27 dollars on a huge bag o' cat food. I don't even spend that much on healthy food for myself. But, come on, it's all worth it. See:

That's my cat, Blacksad, a happy cat with an insane fixation with a yellow feather on a stick. Notice Slick (my roommate's cat) looking longingly at it, knowing he can never have it. Ignore the ugly ass curtains, they've been replaced.

Countries are no different. Canada spends a lot of money (eh) on its citizens to make sure that they have free healthcare. Zimbabwe spends 11.05% of its GDP on education. America loves its citizens so much that they spend about a billion dollars per person on the ability to make War on Terror.

Now that's love.

Sadly, some people are so fucking ungrateful. 174,483,139.06 people to be exact (based on the interwub).

174,483,139.06 ungrateful fucking bastards that don't care that our president and this congress that cares about us so much that it has gotten our debt up to $8,374,898,659,350.20 just to protect us. (Today is the 9th of June, so if you are reading this later, just add 1.75 billion dollars to the total for everyday since then. Or, you can just go here.)

Now not all of that goes to the War on Terror. Some of it goes to massive tax breaks to wealthy people and corporations; though in the opinion of the Supreme Court they are the same thing. (Also can we get the Justices hovercraft chairs? With a name like "Supreme Court" it seems like they should be able to float like gods as they hear cases). Then there is the funding abstinence programs that really don't work, making sure that they gaysodofagahomos can't marry, and that you can't die if you want to.

But let's get back to the massive amounts of money we spend on the War on Terror, for which Iraq is the central front, or flypaper, if you will. In this war, which isn't really a war because Congress doesn't understand its role in how government works, we have so far spent $320 billion. That's expected to double, maybe even triple before all is said and done.

That's a lot love and it's all for you and me, baby.

Now, I know it would be nice to take the $400,000,000 from two days of the war and give a million dollars to each citizen of the country, but that's not going to happen. I think it's because of tax regulations or something. That, and we don't want hundreds of Paris Hiltons running around. Main reason is we can't because we are running a classy war.

Defense Department officials maintain that the payments -- which officials said range from a few hundred dollars for injuries such as a severed limb to $2,500 for the death of a relative -- mirror a local custom commonly known as ``solatia," in which families receive financial compensation for damages or human losses.

See? Class. We've learned from previous wars. Do think we paid Native American when we killed them and stole their land? Hell no! But that was when we were young and uncouth. . We're a little bit older (our 250th birthday is creeping up fast) and we've learned a lot (we still have room to grow - we haven't apologized for slavery and barely half-assed one for lynching, plus I don't think the 40 acres and the mule are coming until the earth is a desolate wasteland and all the rich people live in space), but we have learned some things.

Now when we bomb some innocent people, we can say things like "Sorry about that. Ummmm.... I'm just going to place the $400 between your toes until you can figure out where best to keep it." That's progress.

Look at the recent killing of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. We dropped two 500 pound bombs, that I'm sure cost more than a buck a pound, to kill the guy. The guy was a bastard and killing him was a huge step in the War on Terror because there are only a set number of terrorist. But this was no ordinary Terrorist - he was Robin to Osama's Batman - so what do you do when you kill a Jason Todd? The same thing you do at a graduation or wedding: photos!

Now, if it was Canada or France (or any other country for that matter) they would have just taken the photos to the local drugstore to have them processed. Maybe, if you are lucky, they would send them through one hour express. Not the US, though. Just like your family portrait you and your family got dress up for, we have ours matted and framed.

(Photo by Ceerwan Aziz/Reuters)

I think that one is entitled "Afternoon Siesta", not to be confused by the painting of Vincent Van Gogh. Also, we take the time to point out the composition and lighting of the photos:

(Photo by AFP/File/Ahmad al-Rubaye)

We also frame his Spiritual Advisor's High School Senior Picture:

(Photo by Ceerwan Aziz/Reuters)

But what do you do when the exhibit is over? You spent good money on all the framing and matting, you can't just let that go to waste. Like the above mentioned Native Americans, we don't waste. I don't know for sure, but I assume they will be carefully packaged and shipped to the White House so that they can be displayed in the White House. Of course, that's after Bush, Rumsfeld, Cheney, Feith, and Wolfowitz conduct a circle jerk around it. But don't worry, that will clean right off because of the extra money they spent. With love.